Your partner or spouse tells you they want to end the relationship. What do you do?
Engulfed by feelings of anger and hurt, your life turned upside down, you may take it out on each other. Communication between you degenerates until you cannot talk and communication is by text or e-mail or, worse, through your children.
Greif stricken and angry, you follow your legal advisor’s recommendations and commence proceedings and along the litigation pathway you come to a settlement. That is fine if you only have property and finance issues to resolve because, after the settlement, you don’t have to see one another again.
But what if you have children? How can the child arrangements work if you don’t speak to each other or you can’t bear to be in the same room with each other? What happens if one or both of you don’t stick to the agreement?
Will you go back to Court?
Sadly the law cannot make you talk to each other; it is not geared to deal with “the ruck under the carpet.”
So where do you turn? Mediation. Mediation can really help.
Ask yourself the following questions?
Do you have difficulty speaking to your ex?
Do you communicate by text or e-mail or not at all?
Do you feel your ex shows you little respect?
Do you feel railroaded into your ex’s wishes?
Does you ex hear you?
You need an accredited family mediator to facilitate your discussions to help you both talk about the underlying issues, so you can start to work together to make arrangements for your children that work for you as parents and, more importantly, for your children.